please, something good needs to happen

Hi guys. I wanted to post a bunch of pictures from the past days, but I'm not in the mood. My dad just told me that a friend of mine's dad has had cancer for the past year and now his condition has worsen. My dad just went to their house to see what was up. I've known my friend for 10 or so years. I hadn't seen him for a while, but we saw each other yesterday. He was happy and cracking jokes like always. I never would have thought. He hasn't said anything, so I won't ask him. I dunno...just more bad news after bad news. Nothing good seems to be happening.

I want my friend to be happy forever. <3

Good Times Bad Times

First off. Thank you guys so much <3 It has been a tough week and I know there are more ahead. I don't know how to write this to not sound cheesy or whatever...but you guys are really amazing and I appreciate you so much. I wish you guys so much happiness <3

A lot of things have happened this past week...good and bad. I'm trying to find the balance which has been hard, but my sister has been there for me. I'm not used to being helped and it's very hard for me to ask for it. I had been particularly upset one night and I had told a friend that I was fine, but he had sensed that something was up...I was getting ready to go to bed, when my sister came in my room after my friend had texted her and asked me how I was feeling...we talked for hours...she wasn't trying to cheer me up or tell me how to feel...how I should be happy...when I'm clearly not. She just said that I should try to find happiness and not force it...and she encouraged me to tell her how I feel. I have always been the big sister...who people rely on. But ever since we moved here...I've had it tough and now slowly I've been breaking down here and there...so I have to make a change. My good friends always joke around and say that I act like a 5 year old (I like childish things, I enjoy simple things...etc etc)...it's cause if I don't...I'll go crazy. Life gets so serious sometimes that I need an outlet...to let go of things. The day after my breakdown, my sister and I hung out the whole day..away from the house. It was really nice...we read, we walked, we talked, we ate, we took purikura pictures <3

i mean nothing to myself

today sucked

it was pretty horrible in the beginning

just family stuff

ani and I had to stick together

but i was so angry

and i think i went insane

and then i got a really bad headache on the left side of my head

and my left arm started to hurt

and i cried a lot

so my eyes hurt right now

and then i decided to leave

and then ani joined me

and we went to barnes to read

im still upset

it was tough

there are so many things i wish i could change

but i have no control over them

and it is really painful

i am stuck here

im not happy

and i doubt it will ever change

so its scary to think about the future

I CRIED DURING HUBBLE 3D

I went to the California Science Center with my family on Sunday. We wanted to go see the Mummy Exhibit. We did...it was pretty expensive to get in...and there were a lot of people...a lot of..kids. I hate kids so much. Especially ones that just cry and cry and run around and slam into me. I hate kids so much. I don't think I will ever have kids. ANYWAY. They basically ruined the experience. The mummies looked amazing though! Afterwards...since we were kind of rushed around the exhibit...we decided to watch Hubble 3D which is a documentary narrated by Leo DiCaprio about the Hubble Space Station. OMGGGGGGGGG. HIGHLIGHT OF MY SUMMER. It was so exciting. My eyes were tearing up the whole time. I love space so much...I get so emotional and crazy. It was really wonderful! Afterward, my dad and I were like "OMGOMGOMG THE LAUNCH WAS SO COOL! OMGGGGGGG ORIONS BELT!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGLDLVWINRBWIEhG". We love space. I'm gonna go see it again with a friend of mine this Saturday. We both love space.

I went to H&M with my sister the other day. I got two tops and these black pants. They are super comfortable~ I got the top I'm wearing as well<3 It looks really nice in person...it just has this weird smell...I can't explain...this burnt smell hahaha~ So I'm gonna wash it and see what happens. I also got a leopard printed short sleeved top that is long in the back~ Didn't get to take a picture of it, but I'll post pictures later~

You can't really see it in this picture...but I'm wearing a.........MR. BEAN T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MR. BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

And I'll end this post with this picture I took at Costco.