exhausted

i have never felt so alone and insecure and depressed and hopeless and sad and scared and confused....i mean...i had no idea how huge this change was gonna be. School is tough...and I was ready for that....but the environment in which im gonna be working in is just so different....and the hours i have to spend there are just so crazy.....and the stuff that is being asked of me...is so strange....I'm not used to it. I have to admit that I am not good with change. I feel stupid and little in this school....I feel like I'm never gonna finish...yet I look around and see the other students who have been in my position...I see that it is possible....but for some stupid reason..that doesnt comfort me. There are so many things I am worried about. The biggest one being FAILURE.....im just afraid that I'm gonna be horrible. I am way to negative....which is not like me....that's why I'm scared. I'm always positive about things....so when I start thinking thoughts like these....I feel like the world is ending. I know i am very naive.....im not as aggressive as I should be....i dont ask as many question like other students do.....i always think to myself...try to figure things out internally...and I have a hard time socializing with new people....i feel really awkward at school. So not only am I stressed academically....but i feel like the social aspect of this school is making me even worse. All I think about is being at home with my family....its really lame. I HOPE.....that things will get better very soon....because im so drained....and its only the third day. im really sorry for writing this post like this....one huge ugly paragraph....i just want to get my thoughts out. also..im sorry if i dont make sense!