I don't feel so good. I am too negative even though I should be happy that it's summer. So many things are going on in my head...and around me...and sometimes I feel like I wanna give up. But then something good happens which makes me realize that things are good, and I feel stupid for wanting to give up earlier. I spend most of my days just thinking and that sucks. I worry more than anything else and I feel like it is eating me up. I need to let go of a lot of things. It just feels really strange. I'm a little sad.
No! This is France...you HAVE to wear stripes.
I love stripes. I like the horizontal-ness....it makes me happy. I have been having horrible dreams right after each other for over a week now. I have had less school ones, but I had one last night which woke me up..and I felt horrible. A few nights ago, I had a really interesting dream. In my dream, I was in France and I was running around clothing stores trying to find a shirt without any stripes. I randomly asked a man if I could wear a non-striped shirt and he replied with: "No! This is France! It is illegal to wear non-striped clothing!" So I got very sad. Then, I was being chased by someone in my dream, so I was constantly looking for a hiding place, but I had important things to do, so I wanted to leave my hiding spot, but I felt that it was more important to stay hidden. So, because I was sad...I took all my striped shirts and sew them into a huge blanket, threw it over me, and slept in a little corner........then I woke up. Meet my new striped shirt.
Shirt and cardigan, Yesstyle.com; bag, Forever 21
I had a good day today <3
bye bye blackbird
Today...well yesterday, I vaccumed and painted some molding by the floor cause there were ugly marks on them. It's really boring...painting molding...because you are all alone, concentrating on not spilling paint on the floor. And all that concentrating makes me tired. So I end up being extremely bored and tired afterwards....
Lately I have been having really bad dreams. Reoccuring dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night. I think I'm just worrying about how summer will be over and I have to go back to school...I'm really afraid of school. It's kind of weird. But sometimes it can get very unpleasant, where I don't know what to do. Last semester, I was waiting for the printer to print something...I was in a hurry, tired, stressed out from working on the thing all night...and I was already 10 minutes late to class....I felt this pain in my left arm...a constricted pain, and I felt like I was going to throw up. That stuff happens a lot during school. And I don't want to go back to that. It really scares me. My friend told me to think of positive things right before I knock out. So yesterday I did that....I thought of fun stuff, positive things and feelings. I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, but I don't remember anything about it...if it was school related or not. I just woke up with lots of mixed, negative emotions.
I saw Public Enemy today. I liked their clothes...I want a hat like that...
Framing your face
In my household, there has been a continuous argument between my parents and my sister. Ever since my sister reached that age when girls start to pluck their eyebrows, she has kept them fairly thin, and that bugs my parents. My dad will jokingly say "I can't see them anymore", meaning that her brows are too thin. And she always lashes back with "I like them like this, okay?" My sister would always get compliments from her friends about her eyebrows and I was kind of ignored. Personally, I like thicker eyebrows and have never tried to make mine thinner. I like them the way they are. So the other day, my friend's mom, who is a makeup artist, said, "Lorik, I really like your eyebrows. They frame your face well." First time I was complimented on my eyebrows. It felt really cool.