I am feeling much better. I miss my dad a lot and I constantly worry. I am just vulnerable right now. He has been texting me, telling me to be happy....but I know he is sad, and I am not one to be oblivious to reality. I have tried to not think about things, however. I am on my sister's computer because mine is messed up and is being fixed....she is studying for her LSAT. It's really boring at the apartment. We don't have anything to do besides being on the computer. I am not on a lot though cause it's really bad. I just clean a little...organize my things....play solitare.
On Sunday, after my friends picked me up, we went to my best friend's house. We played Call of Duty until around 12 am. They played mostly, while I slept on my friend's bed. I was really tired afterward, so I knocked out.
The next day (Monday), they picked me up again.....we got Mexican food...and then we went back to my best friend's house. We played COD again....and watched TV. Tuesday was the same. It was really nice of them to be with me so much. They really took my mind off of things.
Today I woke up....I finally had the car....but I didn't have any plans...So I drove to downtown Burbank and just walked alone. My aunt called and talked to me for an hour. She talks so much...and I don't know how to tell her that need to go. She keeps talking about her problems. Afterward I visited my friend who wasn't feeling too well. I played with his new doga and then went back to the apatment to pick up my sister. We went to Barnes & Noble...she studies and I read random books. Then we went and bought some grocerys.
It's now 3:14 am....I'm gonna try to wake up early tomorrow...today. I wish I was happy and was excited about doing things. Deep inside of me, I'm really sad....I laugh on the outside and try to crack jokes...but when I come back to the apartment...things just don't feel right. I want to be in my house, but I know it's not a good idea right now.
My mom is going to a new doctor on Friday. I am thinking of calling her tomorrow night and just telling her good luck and to not worry about it too much....but I'm not sure if that's a good thing to do. I miss my dad so much. I wish I could give him a hug....I hope this Christmas break gets better...
Lastly I just want to thank you guys. It's so hard for me sometimes....especially when I feel like I can't tell anyone. Even though I have never met any of you, I feel really close to you...and I really appreciate your kindness. You know more about me than most of my "real life" friends. It's very comforting to me that you guys exist. Thank you~ <3